Toilet training

Children all develop toileting skills at varied times. It is important to remember that once your child can sit, they are ready to be introduced to toileting. Toileting is a learned skill, similar to getting dressed, undressed, feeding themselves and brushing their teeth. Many children will follow simple instructions best when supported with a visual cue or simple verbal instructions. 

Social story or story books

Social stories can help increase understanding of the toileting process and help to build upon understanding of what will happen next. There are many social stories which can be purchased and individualised to the child and also many character story books are available.

Using a potty is a new skill for your child to learn and most parents start thinking about potty training when their child is between 2 and 2 and a half, but the earlier the better. You might want to think about introducing the toilet or potty from when your child has learned to sit. You might feel your child is ready to start potty training when you notice the following:

• Your child can get on and off of the potty
• Your child can pull their clothes and underwear down
• Your child can follow basic instructions
• Your child knows when they have a wet or dirty nappy and they tell you this
• Your child can stay dry for an hour or two

Click here to watch an NHS video on YouTube for when to start potty training

Remember, you cannot force your child to use a potty. If they're not ready, you will not be able to make them use it. 

• Keep a potty next to the toilet
• Once you have chosen a time to start, swap nappies or pull-ups for pants
• Encourage your child to sit on the potty regularly, particularly after meals and at any time you know your child normally does a poo
• Encourage boys to sit down to wee - this helps them to empty their bladder properly and makes sure they can poo as well if they need to
• Don't make a fuss if they have an accident but do praise them when they succeed or simply try

Visit the ERIC website for more advice on how to start potty training

Children with bladder and or bowel problems cannot always rely on a good signal telling them they need to go to the toilet. To get the wee and poo in the toilet, children need a regular toileting routine led by their parent or carer. It is important that your child feels comfortable and relaxed when using the toilet. Use a foot rest that is high enough that your child’s knees are slightly above the hips. Correct positioning helps to relax the muscles that support comfortably and easy passage of stools.

Top Tips

• Make sure the bathroom is warm and inviting! 
• It is normal to go for a poo after eating so encourage them to sit on the toilet, 20-30 minutes after the main meals, for example, breakfast and dinner
• Try to create and keep a routine, using the toilet around the same times every day and also when your child says they feel the need to go
• Ensure the toilet is comfortable to sit on. Some children fear they will fall into the toilet, so it is important to get an add-on seat for smaller children
• Your child should be relaxed when sitting on the toilet and not straining
• Talk to your child when following these steps so that they know what you are trying to achieve
• Motivate sitting by having a ‘Toilet Tub’ - this could contain a special toy, book or chosen fidget toy to only play when they are sitting. It really helps if you can make it fun
• Making your child laugh, blowing bubbles or a balloon can help contract their tummy muscles

Some children with a long-term illness or disability find it more difficult to learn to use a potty or toilet. The charity Contact has a parents' guide on potty training with a disabled child. Visit the Contact website for further support and ways of getting in touch with other parents with a disabled child.

The ERIC website has more information and advice on potty training children with additional needs.

If after you start potty training, it appears that your child has difficulty developing these skills, try again in a few weeks. If you have any other concerns about potty training, talk to your Health Visitor. It is important to remember that regardless of a child's ability and health background, the majority of children can be supported with their toilet training journey.

Visit the ERIC website for commonly asked questions and excellent practical information about toilet training

There is further information from the NHS on potty training here

Bladder & Bowel UK have an information library for children and young people with advice on toilet training